Weeks after receiving the power to Rule by Decree from Venezuela's Congress, President Hugo Chavez has issued his strongest decree - permanent shotgun in every car throughout the country.
Chavez has reserved a seat in every vehicle that has a passenger seat next to the driver's seat, including trucks, planes, hovercraft, golf carts, and several industrial-sized, ride-on lawn mowers.
"Ever since I was a little boy, I have dreamed of riding shotgun," said the President in his weekly address. "Now, I can sit upfront without having to drive. Plus, I get control of the radio - no more having to listen to Enrique Iglesias!"
The measure serves to further alienate the Venezuelan people.
"It was bad enough when the army stole our guns," said Officer Julio Vivas of the Caracas Police Department. "Now my partner will have to ride in the back of the squad car with anyone we arrest."
Mirroring his low-cost heating oil program in New York, Chavez will sell the rights to shotgun at a substantial discount to those in the U.S. who cannot afford to call shotgun.
"America has failed its own people," Chavez said. "It is a shame that no American companies have taken the initiative to call shotgun for Americans."
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